Pearls and Swine (1997)

Director
Oskar Jónasson

Main cast
Fannar Guðmundsson; Ólafía Hrönn Jónsdóttir; Ólafur Darri Ólafsson; Jóhann Sigurðarson; Edda Björgvinsdóttir

Genres
Comedy

Description
Lisa wants to take a cruise, hubby Finnbogi schemes to make money. He buys a dilapidated bakery. They get lucky when Karolina, who bakes great cakes, offers to work for them. She's the mother of Marta, head of the area's largest bakery, and the two have quarreled. Marta can't abide mom's rebellion or the rival bakery's success, so she inveigles Finnbogi to invest in porn toys without telling Lisa. Where does he get the cash? From his son Bjartmar, who has promised Russian sailors he'll arrange the purchase of ten Landas. The Russians are coming to collect their cars, Finnbogi hasn't sold a single dildo, hard-bitten Marta plans one more nasty trick. How can Lisa get her cruise?


Similar movies

Popular crooner Russ Raymond (Dick Powell) abandons his career at its peak and joins the Navy using an alias, Tommy Halstead. However, Dorothy Roberts (Claire Dodd), a reporter, discovers his identity and follows him in the hopes of photographing him and revealing his identity to the world. Aboard the Alabama, Tommy meets up with Smoky (Bud Abbott) and Pomeroy (Lou Costello), who help hide him from Dorothy, who hatches numerous schemes in an attempt to photograph Tommy/Russ being a sailor. Pomeroy is in love with Patty, one of The Andrews Sisters, sends her numerous fan letters, and tries to impress her with false tales of his physique and his naval rank. Eventually, Patty discovers that Pomeroy is only a baker, and Pomeroy spends much of the movie attempting to win her affection.
Pampered Manhattan housewife Desiree Harper has it all. That is until her husband unexpectedly dumps her for his acupuncturist. Faced with an airtight prenup, Desiree reluctantly lands a job making cupcakes at her father's bakery in Flemington, NJ. She soon discovers there's more to life than 5th Avenue and true love can be even sweeter in small town America.
Milo (Damian Lewis) is a professional hit man living on the edge. When failing to fulfil a contract for the first time, Milo escapes the city to avoid the wrath of his employers. Hiding out in a remote rural village, the locals mistake him for the new baker.
Broadway gambler 'Gloves' Donahue wants to find who killed the baker of his favorite cheesecake. He sees nightclub singer Leda Hamilton leaving the bakery. When her boss Marty's partner Joe is murdered, Leda and her accompanist Pepi disappear. It turns out that beneath all the mystery is a gang of Nazi operatives planning to blow up a battleship in New York harbor.
The Little Rascals are back in an all-new movie! Join the fun with Spanky, Alfalfa, Darla, Buckwheat, Petey the dog and the whole gang as they are up to their usual mischief! The Rascals try anything to raise the money needed to save their grandma's (Doris Roberts) bakery. The only trouble is - they can't seem to do anything right! From botched pet washes to terrible taxi service, they just can't raise a penny. Their only hope is to win prize money from the local talent show - but have you ever heard Alfalfa sing?
During a garage sale Andy’s mother sells some of Andy’s old things including his favorite toy Woody to a collector. Buzz Lightyear and the other toys begin a reckless mission to save their friend. The sequel to the revolutionary computer animated feature film Toy Story.
When Ashtray (Shawn Wayans) moves to South Central L.A. to live with his father (who appears to be the same age he is) and grandmother (who likes to talk tough and smoke reefer), he falls in with his gang-banging cousin Loc Dog (Marlon Wayans), who along with the requisite pistols and Uzi carries a thermo-nuclear warhead for self-defense. Will Ashtray be able to keep living the straight life?
Harry Doyle (Lancaster) and Archie Lang (Douglas) are two old-time train robbers, who held up a train in 1956 and have been incarcerated for thirty years. After serving their time, they are released from jail and have to adjust to a new life of freedom. Harry and Archie realize that they still have the pizzazz when, picking up their prison checks at a bank, they foil a robbery attempt. Archie, who spent his prison time pumping himself up, easily picks up a 20-year-old aerobics instructor. Harry, on the other hand, has to waste away his days in a nursing home. They both have festering resentments -- Archie for having to endure a humiliating job as a busboy; Harry for having to endure patronizing attitudes toward senior citizens. The two old pals finally go back to what they know best. After successfully robbing an armored car, they decide to rob the same train that they robbed thirty years ago.
Sylvia Scarlett and her father, Henry, flee France one step ahead of the police. Henry, while employed as a bookkeeper for a lace factory, was discovered to be an embezzler. While on the channel ferry, they meet a "gentleman adventurer", Jimmy Monkley, who partners with them in his con games.
Director Walter Lang's ultra-wacky 1933 comedy, about a charlaton posing as Baron Munchhausen who's invited to be guest speaker at a girls' school, stars Jack Pearl, Jimmy Durante, Ted Healy, The Three Stooges, ZaSu Pitts and Edna May Oliver.
Things are different for the Pontipee men now that big brother Adam's fetched a bride and brought her to their cabin. Indeed, the unwed brothers are so inspired they raid the town and carry off brides of their own!
Torkel is an average teenager whose life takes a turn for the worse when a girl who had a crush on him kills herself and an unknown maniac starts stalking him.
Everyone abuses and humiliates a downtrodden orphan (Chan) until he befriends an old man, who turns out to be the last master of the "snake fist" fighting style. Jackie becomes the old man's student and finds himself in battle with the master of the "eagle's claw" style, who has vowed to destroy the snake fist clan.
Dueling cat-and-mouse team Tom and Jerry hit the high seas on a hunt for buried treasure in this pirate adventure. The tale begins when crew member Tom sets sail with an infamous pirate and finds a treasure map along with stowaway Jerry. The furry swashbucklers race to a deserted island where X marks the spot, but along with battling each other, they must outwit ruthless buccaneers, angry monkeys and a giant octopus to strike it rich.
Malayalam comedy thriller film written and directed by Lijo Jose Pellissery. The film is jointly produced by Prithviraj, Santhosh Sivan, Arya and Shaji Nadesan under August Cinema and Lijo Jose Pellissery under Amen Movie Monastery. According to the director, the film is a light-hearted comedy entertainer that sets in the backdrop of Goa.
A tragic comedy centered on the HR manager of Israel's largest industrial bakery, who sets out to save the reputation of his business and prevent the publication of a defamatory article.
Christmas 1945. In a train from Stockholm to Berlin are a motley collection. It is the failure of the author Gunnar who wants to leave his old life and make a contribution in Berlin; physician Henry who plan to marry Marie and likewise Henry's current wife Karin, who he plans to kill during the journey, the middle-aged gay couple Pompe and Sixten, a soldier going to Uppsala but is on the wrong train: the cheerful and cynical old Margaret, and a dressed elf and a surly conductor. With the train are also a number of Baltic refugees accompanied by two nuns to be sent to Germany.
Young married couple Rie (Tomoyo Harada) and Sang (Yo Oizumi) move from Tokyo to Lake Toya in Hokkaido Prefecture to start a bakery restaurant named Mani. Sang bakes bread and his wife Rie makes food that complements the bread. Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter, the customers leave in a happy state.
A wizard invents characters who all come to life and start to arrive at his house: a King, his servants, a princes, a bear trapped in a man's body - the usual lot. The Plot mainly rotates around the bear, who the wizard had turned into a man. The Bear, who wishes to be a bear once again, can turn into his old self if he were to kiss a princess. It gets complicated when he falls in love with that princess, that arrived at the wizard's house. For how can they be together, if a single kiss will destroy their love?
A gas is let loose upon the world that kills anyone over 25 years old.
Ecki is a sweet, closeted gay man who works in his family’s bakery and plays goalie in his small town’s soccer team. When he both loses the big game, and is caught flirting with another player, his homophobic teammates throw him out. He vows to return one day with an all-gay team that will grind the heteros into the dust, so he sets off to find his “dream team.” With the help of his nurse sister, Ecki scours local gay bars and eventually assembles a hilariously motley but endearing crew of misfits that includes a leather-daddy threesome, a femme Turk with Beckham fantasies, a secret straight guy in love with the sister, and a seriously cute nurse eager for some private play-time with the goalie. Ecki now has two problems – turning this bunch into a team, and facing his own fears regarding his first romance.
Ten years after their divorce, Jane and Jake Adler unite for their son's college graduation and unexpectedly end up sleeping together. But Jake is married, and Jane is embarking on a new romance with her architect, Adam. Now, she has to sort out her life -- just when she thought she had it all figured out.
Lo Tung and his friend Malted Candy, pedicab drivers working the streets of Macao, have both fallen in love. The problem is that both their objects of affection - one a baker, the other a prostitute - are working under cruel and lecherous bosses. Somehow, the pair must find a way to win the ladies' hearts and free them from their unpleasant jobs.
Among his most deliciously perverse films, God’s Comedy centers around the outlandish presence of Monteiro, once again as João de Deus, now employed as the eccentric manager of the Paradise ice cream parlor and inventor of its renown and guarded ambrosia. A collector of female pubic hair - including a precious strand from Queen Victoria - Monteiro's Joao de Deus embodies the cryptically entomological eroticism that lies at the tremulous heart of his late films. The meticulous staging of God’s Comedy underscores Monteiro’s heightened sensitivity to the occult eroticism of everyday rituals, rendering the serving and stirring of the ice cream as sacred and hauntingly sensuous ceremonies.
Marco Poloni's family owns a bakery in the Bronx and it seems that they have fallen on hard times and his family is considering selling the bakery. Marco then decides to enter a baking competition hoping that the money and publicity will help them. But he needs a partner, so her asks Grace Carpenter, the baker of restaurant, but unfortunately they started off on the wrong foot, but she agrees. So they go to the competition and things seem to be looking good except for a few complications. One of the other contestant Jacques du Jacques is Marco's former classmate at the Academy, whom he says betrayed him. Emil, one of the judges, is Marco's former instructor at the Academy whom he did not leave a good impression on. And Marco's temper. So will they be able to pull it off. And at the same time Marco finds himself attracted to her but she already has a boyfriend.
Two young women do their best to try and save their dead aunt's bakery
Bab El-Oued, a popular district of Algiers, in 1989, a few months after the riots. Boualem works at night in a bakery and steals the loudspeaker that was installed on his roof and was broadcasting the Imam's word... therefore preventing him from sleeping. This blunder is taken as a pretext by the Islamists to put the district under their control...
Placide's dad tells him on his deathbed he'll haunt Placide if he doesn't find a wife soon. Placide cautiously agrees, but he only wants to settle for a very beautiful woman. That might be easier said than done, since he is a vagabond. When he accidentally enters a photo shoot, Placide meets Sarah. He falls in love, but she is way out of his reach.
Musical comedy antics in an art deco bakery (motto: "Glorifying the American Doughnut") with Eddie Cantor as an assistant to a phoney psychic, who is mistaken for an efficiency expert and placed in charge. Complications ensue when the psychic and his gang attempt to rub the payroll.
In this little Provencal village, a new baker, Aimable, settles down. His wife Aurelie is beautiful and much younger than he. She departs with a shepherd the night after Aimable produces his first breads. Aimable is so afflicted that he can not work anymore. Therefore, the villagers, who initially laughed at his cuckoldry, take the matter very seriously (they want the bread) and organize a plan to find Aurelie and to bring her back to the bakery.
After Elizabeth's husband dies, she begins to play her tenor saxophone again, and remembers when she was 15 and a member of the Blonde Bombshells, an all-girl (with one exception) swing band. Accompanied by the exception and urged on by her grand-daughter, Elizabeth hunts up all the old members of the band and urges them to perform, and in doing so, learns more than she knew about the band, its members, the roses on the drum set, and herself--the last of the Blonde Bombshells.
Bennie, a clumsy criminal who's touchy about his weight, teams up with his adoptive father's biological (serial killer) son, his employees who in his absence turned his snack-bar into a quiche bakery, a suicidal manic-depressive woman and a Yougoslavian who keeps unintendedly blowing things up. They need to get 300000 Euro to get Bennies father a new liver. Complicating matters are that Bennie is
Elvira is supposed to go on a cruise, but decides to stay home when she suspects her husband is cheating on her. Her husband suspects the same of his wife, and sends an investigator to spy on her on the cruise - but he is really spying on Elvira's husband.
Recently fired, a grim reaper with anger issues terrorizes a small town, killing and collecting souls for a purpose only he knows. Sam and Martin, slackers who work at the local bakery, are hired by a mysterious stranger to stop him from killing again. Now they are the only ones who can take out Death before it's too late, but these idiots have no idea what they've walked into.
A road trip, undertaken by Rishi Kapoor and Abhishek Bachchan, is later joined by their mother.
A stowaway (Stanisław Tym) sneaks aboard a ship departing on a cruise down the Vistula River. The captain takes him for a Communist Party cultural coordinator and the intruder gladly adapts to his new role, immediately setting to work at manipulating the passengers and crew into silly and vaguely humiliating games. Before long, Tym has got everyone under his thumb and created his own comedic dictatorship.
A young man spurs romance and helps his friend and himself go through the struggles of their ordinary life in Denmark.
Due to a road rage between two buses, an accident occurs which puts the lives of its passengers in jeopardy. But the ones greatly affected by such event are a middle-aged woman named Fiesta (Eugene Domingo), an old and retired family patriarch Tonio (Leo Martinez), and a lad named Caloy (Enchong Dee). These three people are pierced through a single steel bar – a dangerous situation that even their doctors find hard to solve. But even before this unfortunate circumstance, these three have their share of ill-fated lives.
Sequal to Dorm Daze has most of the original group of college students on a cruise ship in the Pacific, putting on a school play which takes a turn involving the theft of a priceless diamond.
In Naples, in the Second World War, the wolf businessman Domenico Soriano meets the seventeen years old whore Filumena Marturano in a brothel during an allied bombing. Two years later, in the post-war, they meet each other by chance and begin a long affair. For twenty-two years, Filumena is his mistress and administrates his shops in Naples while Domenico is traveling. When Domenico decides to marry the young cashier of his bakery, Filumena lures him as if she were near to death and he marries her. Later he annuls their matrimony, and she tells him that she has three sons that she raised secretly, one of them is his legitimate son but she does not disclose his identity. The middle-age Domenico uses the most different subterfuges trying to find which teenager might be his son.
On a cruise ship from Honolulu to San Francisco, the famous Chinese detective encounters four more murders while trying to figure out the murder of a Scotland Yard friend.
A few pupils from County High are selected to be the first to go on a study cruise, a privilege that formerly was reserved for members of private schools. Sam, Boz, Staci and Kim struggle to fit in, but the snobs do everything to make them look badly.
Extremely silly comedy about a self-indulgent private investigator who winds up on a cruise ship full of rich patrons, gorgeous women, murderous terrorists, and scarce food.
Ghost pirates attack the cruise ship that Scooby and the gang are vacationing on.
Annie’s life is a mess. But when she finds out her lifetime best friend is engaged, she simply must serve as Lillian’s maid of honor. Though lovelorn and broke, Annie bluffs her way through the expensive and bizarre rituals. With one chance to get it perfect, she’ll show Lillian and her bridesmaids just how far you’ll go for someone you love.
Captain Crowther's lot is not a happy one! Five of his crew have to be replaced and at such short notice before the voyage begins there isn't much to choose from. Not only does he get the five most incompetent shipmates ever to sail the seven seas, but the passengers turn out to be a rather strange bunch too. The SS Happy Wanderer will never be the same.
Gabriella, a Columbian immigrant, is obsessed with understanding violent crime. The current string of murders by "The Blue Blood Killer" of affluent Miami socialites provides her with fodder for her scrapbook of death. She lands a job with a post-murder cleaning service and during a Blue-Blood clean-up job, discovers evidence that police have overlooked.
Semyon Gorbunkov goes on a cruise with a smuggler on board. In Istanbul, he slips and breaks his arm. What he didn't know is that this was a signal for the gang of smugglers.
This is a life story of three girlfriends from youth to autumn ages. Their dreams and wishes, love, disillusions...
Two straight men mistakenly end up on a "gays only" cruise.
Ernest Wright's peerless prowess as a locksmith comes to the attention of a tough big-time crook, who feels that the little man would be a valuable asset to his crime kingdom. In order to inveigle him into a series of jobs, he sets up a beautiful hostess as a trap, into which the hapless Ernest inevitably falls..!
Dr. Burke is in love with Ophelia but doesn't have time to propose to her as she leaves for a cruise to the Mediterranean. Also on board the cruise ship is an old school chum of Burke's who plays 'Dr.Dare' in a very popular TV series and who women flock to. Burke decides to join the cruise, but is first apprehended as a stowaway, and then becomes the captain's steward. For Burke, trying to talk to Ophelia is a hard enough task, but he meets some funny characters on board, such as a pools winner and a very stubborn captain.
Hector's parents sent him to an orphanage in treatment for smallpox but... they never picked him up. 35 years later, he still lives in the orphanage, surrounded by children, his playmates. Till a forgotten aunt remembers that he exists. She'll get him to participate in the bakery of her husband, Achilles, to work. Hector shows his skills on the basis of unexpected inventions. So he helps Jos, the son of Achilles, to accomplish his dream to be a cycling champion. Hector's good humor and childlike manner overcomes all resistance and pulls his entire entourage along on the path to success. From now on he can learn what love is...
Encore is a 1951 anthology film composed of adaptations of three short stories by W. Somerset Maugham: "The Ant and the Grasshopper", directed by Pat Jackson and adapted by T. E. B. Clarke; "Winter Cruise", helmed by Anthony Pelissier, screenplay by Arthur Macrae; "Gigolo and Gigolette", directed by Harold French, written by Eric Ambler. It is the last film in a Maugham trilogy, preceded by Quartet and Trio.
The former stars of a TV sci-fi series are reunited for a cruise with members of their fan club.
Care-free Charlie (Walter Matthau) cons his widower brother-in-law Herb (Jack Lemmon) into an expenses-paid luxury cruise in search of rich, lonely ladies. The catch is that they are required to be dance hosts! With a tyrannical cruise director, and the luscious Liz and lovely Vivian, our heroes have lots of mis-adventures before they finally return to port.
A drunken playboy stands to lose a wealthy inheritance when he falls for a woman, his family doesn't like.
When Petula and Dorothy cover up the accidental murder of one jerk boyfriend, they hatch a hilarious scheme to collect a huge ransom.
A struggling young comedian takes a menial job on a cruise ship where he hopes for his big chance to make it in the world of cruise ship comedy.
Retired Lieutenant Commander Quinton McHale spends his days puttering around the Caribbean in the old PT-73 selling homebrew, ice cream, and swimsuit calendars. He's brought out of retirement when his old nemesis turned the second best terrorist in the world, Major Vladikov, takes over the island of San Moreno and starts building a nuclear launch silo on it. With help from his old crew and hindrances from Captain Wallace B. Binghampton, who sank a cruise liner a while back, McHale tries to put Vladikov out of business.

© Valossa 2015–2024